Too cool for school?
When it comes to dating someone new, avoiding the extremes of being either an Ice King/Queen or being too clingy can be a tricky balancing act indeed.
It’s a common occurrence in the dating world - men play it cool, whilst women play hard to get! But, just what is the best approach?
Play it too cool and you could find yourself out in the cold whilst acting clingy is likely to get you nowhere other than a night alone in-front of YouTube watching clips of your favourite band. So let’s consider the options…
Waiting game VS Busy lifestyle
A recent survey asked 1,000 singletons about their habits when replying to a date’s text. It reported that being standoffish is no longer considered enticing, with only 4% agreeing you should wait before replying.
Although this maybe the case we do recommend not answering immediately every time, as this can make you look like a convenience, but you don’t want to keep them waiting too often either as this could be misconstrued as disinterest.
Rather than trying to keep their interest by playing hard to get, ditch this waiting game and cultivate a genuinely busy lifestyle. People who keep themselves occupied with hobbies, friends and activities can seem more intriguing than someone who vaguely claims to be super busy every hour of the day.
A varied and full lifestyle with commitments means you won’t need to play waiting games because you will genuinely be busy and will have to make time to reply making it more special when you do.
Less is more
Another tactic is to be vague, however it is much better to be authentic. Let the other person get to know gradually, oversharing can be a sign of nerves so make sure you give time for your date to share and that you’re having a two way conversation.
Remember they don’t need to know your dreams, your aspirations, your pet hates and your pets’ pet hates - this should all come gradually not by the end of the date.
Some say that when playing it cool we should end phone calls and even dates early in an attempt to show your control.
After all men enjoy the chase, right? So using these tactics will encourage them to move towards someone who is just out of their grasp. On the other side of the coin, women are more attracted to confident men who don’t smother them, yes?
No, it is less about playing hard to get and more about both of you looking forward to next date without exhausting the all-important honeymoon period. You’re still individuals so be sure not to jump in too far too soon.
To flirt, or not to flirt...?
Making your date jealous by flirting with someone else in their presence is sometimes said to be the perfect way get your date’s attention - supposedly your date will think they need to beat the competition and act out of character.
This is a typical female behaviour to make her man sit up and take notice that someone else is taking notice of her. If you feel your date is getting complacent and find yourself playing these games it may be time to rethink your date!